Who you Are
by Inanis Incedeco
Summary: The Five things Josephine and her Inquisitor do instead of sex.


_Author's Note: So, this story is rather personal to me. Recently, a friend of mine told me that my sexuality, asexual, is wrong and broken, which left me... hurt. So I had to write this to vent, and to remind myself I'm not broken._

 _I encourage criticism of any sort on my stories, but please none on this one. It's too personal to myself. Thank you for your consideration. Much love._

I

"Are you alright?" Josephine asks me as we lean against the railing on the terrace of Halamshiral, knowing exactly how I'm feeling, the exhaustion heavy behind my eyelids. It was incredibly hard, getting all three of Orlais' leaders to work together once more.

Although it's much better now that she's here.

I shake my head wearily. "It's been... a long day, love." But I give her a tiny smile. Now that we're out of the Viper's nest, it's easier to appreciate how beautiful she is, out here in the moonlight. And it was fun, meeting her sister Yvette. I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time, when she asked us if we were going to join the Anderfel Grey Wardens. She totally believed me when I said we'd already packed out bags. "But it will be better, now that you're here."

"You're sweet as sugar." She giggles, leaning closer to me. "You're amazing. I can't believe you managed what you did tonight." She shakes her head. "Such a tremulous evening." She puts an arm around me, holding me closer, so I can feel her warmth, smell the perfume on her skin. "Orlais is safe now. It was worth it."

I nod in agreement, knowing it to be true, even in the case of my overwhelming exhaustion. I don't think I've enjoyed politics since I was just a boy, back when we would sit for hours learning what fork we used for which damned salad. Now this place was the highest tier of Orlesian politics, and it was all I could do not to run away in fear.

"Is there anything I can do?" She asks for a moment, and I turned to face her smiling face. "Can I get you anything? A drink, perhaps?"

I think for a moment. All I really want is to go home, back where the world makes sense. But then I can hear the orchestral begin the next song, and my face lights up with inspiration.

"Would you like to dance with me, Lady Montilyet?" I ask as I step back, extending a gloved hand out to her, and she blushes gingerly, making me smile even wider.

"I... was hoping you would ask, my lord." She giggles, and takes her hand in my, stepping closer. The band is quiet, considering how far we are, but I think it's better that way. Moonlight streaming down onto her, soft music playing in the background, a slow dance...

She wraps her arms around me as I do the same, and then I lead her in this dance. For anyone else, this would begin to take on another component, something sexual. Anyone else I've ever met would be trying to convince her to bed right now, but I don't need that. Waltzing with her under the moon, I feel utterly... complete.

II

"Amore!" She cries out, rushing to the next stand, and I follow her with a genuine smile form ear-to-ear. "Look at this!" She holds up a red and cream silken skirt that touches the floor, with fancy laces.

I put a hand on her back, giving a laugh. "I think you need a shirt to go with it."

"I think you're right." She nods emphatically, holding it up. "Feel how soft it is, love." And it is indeed, very, very soft.

"You should get it." I encourage. She's so cute when she gets like this. There's not too many traditionally girlish things about her, but dresses are certainly one of them.

"Hmm..." She makes a thoughtful noise, adorably biting her lip. "I'd need a matching shirt, and some new shoes..." But then she nods, taking it off of the shelf and folding it over her forearm. "Alright. Come, let's see if we can find something to match."

We continue through he store, looking for anything else to match.

And then we both freeze in tandem.

There is an ocean of shoes, just in front of us. As far as the eye can see.

"Dear maker." I whisper in awe with the silliest smile on my face.

"There's so many." Her voice is just as reverent as mine. The two of us both absolutely _adore_ shoes, and shopping for them is one of our favourite things to do together. We turn to look at each other, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, and I nod.

Hand-in-hand, we take off running for the shoes section.

III

I open the heavy wooden door leading to her office, peering in just a little to see that she's not with some Orlesian noble. She's not, although she is knee deep in paperwork.

"Josephine?" I say in a gentle voice, closing the door behind me, and her head pokes up from behind the wall of papers, adopting the dignified posture that I'm certain every entitled person expects from the Inquisition. Then her face softens when she's sees it's me, relaxing a little.

"It's good to see you." She beams at me and, judging from the dark lines under her eyes, I believe that. I'm probably the only person she's been glad to see all day. It's funny, how the rest of us go out in armour to fight evil, and she works harder than the entire Inquisition put together.

"Long day?" She nods as I round the desk. "You shouldn't work so hard, sweetheart." She opens her mouth, like to protest that, but I put a lightly place a gentle, but insistent finger on her lips. "I just came to say how much I love you." My hand reaches up past her lips and onto her hair, straightening it back so I can kiss her forehead. "It's awfully late. How about I steal you away for a nice lunch?"

Josephine giggles. "I really shouldn't..." But we both know that teasing voice, daring me to claim her for myself.

"Josephine Cherette Montilyet." I say in my best commanding tone, making her sit up immediately. When her middle name gets involved, then she knows I mean what I'm about to say. "As the leader of the Inquisition, and your employer, I hereby order you to take a damned break from all this work."

She throws her head back and give a long, hearty laugh, one that I'm certain she was in dire need of. "Pulling rank on a lady?" She gives mock offensive, placing her wrist against her forehead in mock affront. "Scandalous, my lord. Simply scandalous."

I laugh with her. "I believe ordering you to eat with me is legally considered sexual harassment, so let's just keep it between us, alright?" I give her a knowing wink as she drops the offended act with the widest smile across her face.

She stands, and offers a hand out to me. "Let's."

IV

The door to my bed room opens and is slammed shut, making my head look up from my book. Moments later, Josephine comes storming in, slips off her dress, and flops down onto our bed, giving a heavy sigh.

"Long day?" I ask gingerly, setting down what I was reading and standing up from my desk.

"Oh, you have no idea." She groans with another sigh. "I just spent six hours talking with Lady Forsythia about their alliance. She is easily the bullish, pig-headed woman I have ever had the..." She trails off angrily, and I sit on the bed beside her.

I run my hands gently through her hair, careful not to touch too hard. "I'm sorry." I murmur softly. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

She shakes her head slowly. "No." She sighs, fluttering her eyes open and looks up at me. "I just want to go to bed."

I nod understandingly, before pausing for a moment while I contemplate the double meaning of that. "Do you mean bed or... _bed_?" I ask slowly, unsure what she meant. She knows that I don't feel attracted to anyone that way, but I also know how much she likes spending her nights like that, so I do it with her to make her happy. It doesn't feel good for me, but she loves it so much that it makes me happy too.

"No." She rolls over and onto her face. "No, I'm too tired. You don't have to." I silently breathe a sigh of relief, but then I notice how knotted and strained her back is.

"Well there is something I could do for you." I smile, offering my strong hands onto her back and rub the soft, olive coloured skin there. She giggles before offering a contented groan of relief.

"Ooooohhh... amore mio..."

V

Late at night, I hold her in my arms, warm and soft. I don't know how I ever deserved this amazing woman, and I don't know if I ever will. After such a tremulous life, after so much death and war, she's like the sun rising over an eternal night. She discarded the violence that makes up so much of my life, taking up peace and words.

Not only all of that, but I think she's been the first person since my parents to accept me for who and what I am. To not only recognize the warrior, the Red Templar, the Inquisitor, but to see me under all of those titles, pride and shame both. And to accept all the little things that always made me feel so different from everyone else, so isolated and lonely.

She accepts my lack of sex drive. That's... amazing. I couldn't even admit that to my own mother. The woman still thinks I'm interested in men after I couldn't bring myself to tell her that.

"Amore?" She asks sleepily, cuddling up to me. "What are you thinking about?"

I lean down and place a kiss on her nose, making her giggle. "Just how much I love you."

She smiles happily, leaning a hand up to feel my heartbeat, and I respond in kind. I love her heart, that steady, powerful rhythm that keeps her alive.

"I love you too." The words make my heart thunder happily in my chest, the words making me feel wonderful. If they ever stop exciting me, ever stop sweeping me up in a torrid wind of passion, there will be something terribly, terribly wrong with me.

"I don't deserve you." I admit, and she gives a disapproving cluck at that.

"Amore." She smiles at me. "I know you don't believe in a Maker, but I do. I believe that there is a heaven waiting for us when we die." She glances up to ensure that I'm listening to every words before continuing, "But if everyone in the world were like you, we wouldn't need one." She crawls up me, positioning herself right ontop of me, and our eyes meet. They're the colour of chocolate, with strings of powerful lightning decorating their surface.

"We would already be there."


End file.
